Date #16–Mr. Toby

May 12, 2009

Well, I got to Cheesecake Factory and met Mr. Toby standing outside the restaurant. First words he said, “Obviously, I am not important enough for you to be on time.” Well, hello Mr. Toby…good to meet you!

The night continued in such a fashion, I heard about him just being a number, and this whole project not being realistic and not mattering in the whole scheme of things. Nice meeting you also, Mr. Toby.

He proceeded to unintentionally spit on me while he ate, multiple times and then left me with the bill, saying, “I’m tired of spending money on someone else’s wife”. Such a gentleman you are, Mr. Toby.

Dinner was good though.

 toby

So, Mr. Toby wanted me to make up a story about what a crappy date I had. Does that say something about him?? I don’t know??  We really did have fun creating a whole story. But, sorry Mr. Toby, I had to come clean. It’s not true. Mr. Toby was a perfect gentleman. When he called to set up the date we talked for an hour and half. He seemed to take a little warming up tonight, but shortly after we sat down; it was a night of good conversation. I love good conversation. Especially on the first date. We talked about dating, the differences between men and women, relationships, the L-word…all sorts of topics. And then we moved on to parenting…by the end of the date I think we covered all the bases!  🙂 We had it all figured out!  He agreed with some of my theories…how could I not like that??? We ate outside…the weather is perfect right now. I think I picked the perfect time for this little project!!

I got the impression that Mr. Toby is a dedicated guy, willing to help anyone who needs it. He works hard (and completely by himself, might I add) as an engineer. He seems to have life balanced, or tries real hard to make it that way. He is just more proof that there are good men out there.

My Favs:

  1. Good, open conversation.
  2. Piercing blue eyes!
  3. Not afraid to have a little fun.
  4. Likes to laugh and tease.
  5. Gentleman.

Google Love Meter: 79%

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Midpoint Report.

May 12, 2009
This is what I saw coming into work last week. My funwith31 groupies! :) I love it!

This is what I saw coming into work last week. My funwith31 groupies! 🙂 I love it!

I just wanted to take a few minutes to address some frequently made comments, a little housekeeping if you will.  Before I start though, I need to reiterate just how much fun this is. And I can’t believe I just said that! I really thought by this point in the project I would be a crank-fest monster, but I am still smiling and having fun. I am still laughing that I actually did step out of my comfort zone and do this. There were so many times before it started, and actually after it started that I wanted to back out and not do it. I am so glad I didn’t give into my reservations! I have been able to meet so many wonderful men that I have genuinely enjoyed getting to know! I have been impressed with the caliber of men and it’s refreshing to know that there are good men out there ladies!

Lessons learned thus far:

  1. When you focus on the positive it is amazing how much fun you can have on a date and how many men you want a second date with.
  2. Dating, especially a first date, is NOT that big of a deal. There really needs to be no pressure. It is just a chance to get to know someone a little better.
  3. There are some great men out there, who want to be in a fun, loving relationship as much…if not more…than ladies.
  4. Just like we have to deal with crappy men, men have to deal with some crappy women. [Or crazy women who create a website to find men to date her…:)].
  5. This is fun!

Topics that need to be addressed:

  1. Why are you so nice to everyone, are you really be honest? I am most definitely being honest, sometimes way beyond my comfort level. What attracted me to this whole project, was the way Tamara (the original 31 date girl) was so positive about each of her dates. And I decided in the beginning that I was going to follow her lead. Yes, there is a lot of comic relief in talking of the negative and the quirky things because most of us have dealt with it. But, dating is a vulnerable thing and I am just thankful for any guy who would be willing to be a part of this madness. And we are all hard enough on ourselves, we don’t need someone to come in and point out the negative about us! If the tables were reversed and I was going to be on a man’s blog, I would hope he would show me the same respect. I refuse to say anything negative about a person who is helping me out, unless he is down right rude….then I might reconsider. Plus, something I consider dumb or quirky or irritating, the woman next to me might just adore! Dating isn’t about changing someone to be who you want them to be, it’s about getting to know someone and seeing if the pros outweigh the cons. And we ALL have cons! What I consider a pro or a con isn’t what everyone considers a pro/con. So, I am sorry if it is boring or some may say fake…but this is how it is going to stay. I just appreciate men who are up for the chaos, especially those who step out of the comfort zone themselves! And I’ll say it again, everything I write I sincerely believe. At times there are a few things I leave out, but I want the vote to focus on the good of the person.
  2. Everyone’s got to have a critic, and I’ve had a couple. I’ve hear a few not nice words or phrases about me that refer to my morality. Really, I don’t even think I need to address this. If these critics knew me, I would hope they wouldn’t say those things. I’ll just say this…the purpose of this project is to MEET 31 different guys. And that is what I am doing.
  3. “I’m just a number”.  This one makes me giggle a little and then hurts my feeling. I guess this is true, to some extent. It isn’t normal for me to actively have 31 men that I am interested in dating and hoping they ask me out. I’ve always been one to have multiple crushes…but that is a little extreme! So, yes, the nature of the project leaves men feeling like they are just filling up a spot. But every man is just a number, heck, I could be just a number to some of these men. But several “numbers” have turned into possibilities and interests. And that, again, is the purpose of the project….to meet 31 different men and then let the normal dating, friendship, relationship take over afterwards (here’s to hoping….).
  4. Still looking. I still have 5 more “slots” open. (that has been the worst part, if anyone does this after me…find a secretary!! :))  I’ve heard rumors that people have emailed and I haven’t responded. I respond to every email I get…so I might not have gotten the email. So, I would love to hear from you fun.with.thirty.one@gmail.com or if you know my phone number, or you know someone who knows my phone number give me a call!

And there is your Midpoint Report! I’m averaging about 325 views a day…so I expect a lot of votes come May 27th! 🙂

Happy Dating!

janelle